I thought I would talk to everybody about a new past-time that is sweeping the country called ‘Train Mooning’. This where you gather with a whole bunch of your friends, and after a few drinks, you venture out as a group to a nearby railroad. Together as a group, you time a quick pants drop and ‘moon’ a passing train.
It works best when you target passenger trains, as this gives you the largest audience. For you that are eager to get started, and only have freight trains near you, well start with that and have some fun! I recommend positioning yourself at an angle to the tracks so the train engineer has a longgggg view when you moon him, as he is likely to be the only one who sees the spectacle on a freight train.
For best results, however, choose a passenger train. If you live close to large cities like New York and Chicago, this is easy to do. In fact, you can moon several trains in a given afternoon, as these passenger trains are more frequent as you approach larger cities.
Another fun thing to do when you moon a train is to have a message painted on your buttocks. I know this can be hard to do, so you will need to be a group that is in cooperation and knows how to spell. It is best to do your butt paint writing before everyone gets too drunk. Or, if you are already too drunk as you read this, then just grab a bunch of different colors and paint each cheek a different color like a bunch of circles on an old ‘Twister’ game. This will give it a little
Anyway, train mooning can be a lot of fun. It is important to practice safety when train mooning, as you do not want to get run over by a train. As a note, it is usually best to be farther away anyhow, so that the bulk of the passengers looking out the window can see you. It also gives you a better chance to run away or jump in a car and drive off if one of the train conductors calls the police.