Category Archives: History

Camels and Reindeer Have Been Used Throughout History in Place of the Noble Giraffe!

I want to bring to light a disturbing revelation that has been brought forth by the research department at the GLF headquarters.

Camels and Reindeer have been used throughout history in place of the noble Giraffe!

Jesus rode a giraffe, but the Hebrews removed it from the bible out of jealousy!

It seems now defunct sandlot organizations of bleeding heart Camel supporters feigning ‘equality’ for humped animals covertly altered the biblical texts of history by inserting the ‘Camel’ as the transport of the three wise men, in place of the Giraffe, who were the true carriers of nobility in those days! Alas, the true comes out! Kings and Queens of old would not have been caught dead on a Camel! The Giraffe was the transport of choice due to our unique reticulated and aesthetically appealing appearance!

Another myth that has come to light is that of Reindeers transporting Santa Claus! A complete lie! Imagine Reindeers pulling Santa’s sleigh! Absurd! The truth is that Giraffes pulled Santa’s sleigh! Indeed! It is true! Reindeer are too easily distracted by their own horns, Santa would never get anything done! Santa knew instinctively that Giraffes were superior, and single minded of purpose! The original Giraffes that carried his sleigh were among our most noble ancestors!

Their names have been closeted into the darks shadows of history due to a conspiracy of drunken elves with neo-fascist purposes to replace our kind with that of mindless animals so as to bring more attention on themselves! Well, I am here to say it did not work! The truth is now out!

GIRAFFES ARE NOT HUMPED OR IRREVERENTLY HORNED MINDLESS ANIMALS THAT CAN BE TRICKED INTO BEING LOST TO HISTORY! WE HAVE A RICH HISTORY! THUS WE HAVE FORMED THE GLF TO UNITE US IN OUR CAUSE! WE WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY LONGER BEING SUBSTITUTED IN THE ARCHIVES OF HISTORY BY MASQUERADING CHARLATANS!


The Legend of the Dinosaur Giraffes

Many do not realize that Prehistoric Giraffes were once the dominant species on planet earth.  Yes, it is true!  Dinosaur Giraffes once ruled the world, and all would quiver when they tromped about!  These dinosaur Giraffes were the ancient ancestors of modern day giraffes, and were more dangerous than the hollywood famous T-Rex. 

Our ancient ancestor was fierce and could stomp things...

If you can imagine a huge Giraffasaurus tromping around with his long neck, and roaring!  He would scare anyone!  There are depictions in history books of our proud ancestor, and some people in the modern day have saw fit to build replicas of this fearsome cousin.  So if you wonder why Giraffes are so strong and organized against lions, it is because we at one time used to eat them and stomp them into the earth like little bugs! 

Evolution made us into more swift and graceful bodies, different from our ancient cousins, but the attitude is still with us!  We can roar when we want to, and we can stomp and we can bite things.  So be careful when messing with Giraffes, as we might suddenly revert to instincts deep within our subconscious, and become very dangerous.  Take that as a warning lions!

A tribute to our ancient cousin!


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