Having an abundance of friends on facebook is cool. Trust me, I have over 1200 at this point. You can check me out at: Facebook/ToodlesGRaffe. However, I do not think many people consider the dangers of having me as a friend. I am sometimes a little too outragious for everyones taste. Therefore, I have prepared a list of the top 10 reasons to ‘Unfriend’ me on Facebook:
10) I do not like Lions. I make many jokes, and postings that would be considered in poor taste for Lions Lovers.
9) I am perfunctory. I change my mind and don’t care if it makes sense to everyone. It makes sense to me, at least at that moment.
8 ) I like a good fart joke. I am also prone to bathroom humor, and will freely share it with others, in at the wrong moment. My timing is often awful.
7) I am convinced Bigfoot lives in the woods behind my house, and I often go hunting for him with a potato gun. In doing so, I once shot a poodle and a sheep dog. I consider it their fault, because they were pretending to be Bigfoot and should have known better.
6) I have my own cat experimentation labratory in my basement. I will willingly ‘cat sit’ for you, but you may not like the way your cat looks or acts once you get him or her back. If you get them back, that is.
5) In the summer I often dig up my neighbors septic tank and go swimming in it.
4) I hold naked parties at my house and schedule them to be held at your house without your knowledge.
3) I believe Giraffes are the superior species on planet earth, and are in fact radio receivers of the gods.
2) I toss salmon. Often I do this in social unacceptable situations, and create a trouble in doing so.
1) Finally, I like to make people laugh. Some people do not like to laugh, and are essentially weenies about it. I do not care if you like it or not, my goal is to make people laugh, and laugh often. So this above all things I have placed as #1. If you can’t handle the laughter, unfriend me now!
I can understand why I make you nervous. So hey, go ahead and ‘unfriend’ me. I understand.
Still want to be my friend? We will see.