Category Archives: Stupid Lions

Who Deserves a Giraffe Kick?

There are some people out there in the world, and you know who they are, that deserve a giraffe kick.  Can you for a

We Giraffes can kick baby!

We Giraffes can kick baby!

moment picture that person in your life you would like to see this happen to?  Sometimes it is an entirely different species other than yourself.  To me, Lions all deserve a giraffe kick.  However, in the world of humans, there are several more for their useless actions in deceptive practices.

Here is a list of a few that I think deserve a good ol’ giraffe kick:

1) All the members of the Rinaldo Orfeo Circus that not only captured a giraffe, tried to make him perform in their circus and allowed him to escape and run around the city streets endangering his life!   Then they shot him with tranquilizers and took him back to a zoo!  The giraffe later died from a heart attack!  All of them deserve a kick, and another kick, and another! Here is the story on that nasty episode.

2) Mark Nisbet, owner of Eudora Farms in SC.  They let a giraffe go to a tree lighting ceremony, where he got spooked with cannon fire!  Very mean!  Here is the story of that nasty incident.

3) Zoo Keepers at the Mogo Zoo deserve a swift kick.  They recently crated a giraffe and drove him through the streets of Sidney and made an embarrassing spectacle of him. Here is that sad story.

4) The Zoo Keepers at the Vancouver Zoo had three Giraffes die recently, which is just disgusting!  They not only are under investigation from the Giraffe Liberation Front, they are just sick people.  Here is the story about this brutal incident.

5) Finally, here is a group that really deserves a kick!  The staff at Zoo Atlanta.  A giraffe was reported to have ‘un-expectantly’ died there recently.  Really?  This sounds too suspicious.  Here is that sad tale.

So when it comes to being mean to giraffes, I think those people deserve a kick.  This is my humble opinion.  I welcome yours.

Giraffe gets crated in Sidney!

Giraffe gets crated in Sidney!


Do you have Dain Bramage?

You might be wondering it you have brain damage after you read some of my blog posts.  Some of them may not make sense to you.  Why should it?  I am a giraffe, and I am coming at you from a very high altitude!  Trust me, I see things differently.

You might have brain damage if you think that not being a member of the Giraffe Liberation Front is a safe thing to be.  Did you know that Lions are out there in the world?  Did you know that most giraffes do not fully realize that lions eat giraffes?  They do!  Never trust a lion!

Your best protection against lions is to become a member of the Giraffe Liberation Front on Facebook.  Trust me.  I founded the group several years ago, and at present we have over 1000 members.  In all those years, I have not been eaten by a lion.  So therefore, the group has worked!  Does this make sense?  So what are you waiting for!  Join today!

giraffe tongue 1

Join the Giraffe Liberation Front, and let everyone you know that you have. They will know you do not have dain bramage!  Save yourself!  Unite!


Top 10 Reasons to ‘Unfriend’ Me on Facebook

Having an abundance of friends on facebook is cool.  Trust me, I have over 1200 at this point.  You can check me out at: Facebook/ToodlesGRaffe. However, I do not think many people consider the dangers of having me as a friend.  I am sometimes a little too outragious for everyones taste.  Therefore, I have prepared a list of the top 10 reasons to ‘Unfriend’ me on Facebook:

10) I do not like Lions.  I make many jokes, and postings that would be considered in poor taste for Lions Lovers.

9) I am perfunctory.  I change my mind and don’t care if it makes sense to everyone.  It makes sense to me, at least at that moment.

8 ) I like a good fart joke.  I am also prone to bathroom humor, and will freely share it with others, in at the wrong moment.  My timing is often awful.

7) I am convinced Bigfoot lives in the woods behind my house, and I often go hunting for him with a potato gun.  In doing so, I once shot a poodle and a sheep dog.  I consider it their fault, because they were pretending to be Bigfoot and should have known better.

6) I have my own cat experimentation labratory in my basement.  I will willingly ‘cat sit’ for you, but you may not like the way your cat looks or acts once you get him or her back.  If you get them back, that is.

5) In the summer I often dig up my neighbors septic tank and go swimming in it.

4) I hold naked parties at my house and schedule them to be held at your house without your knowledge.

3) I believe Giraffes are the superior species on planet earth, and are in fact radio receivers of the gods.

2) I toss salmon.  Often I do this in social unacceptable situations, and create a trouble in doing so.

1) Finally, I like to make people laugh.  Some people do not like to laugh, and are essentially weenies about it.  I do not care if you like it or not, my goal is to make people laugh, and laugh often.  So this above all things I have placed as #1.  If you can’t handle the laughter, unfriend me now!

I can understand why I make you nervous.  So hey, go ahead and ‘unfriend’ me.  I understand.

Still want to be my friend?  We will see.

-Toodles


Lions Deserve an ‘L’ on their Forehead

I think Lions are mean.  In general, they suck.  They eat Giraffes, and for that reason they deserve an ‘L’ on their forehead, for being such a loser.  Lions generally hunt a Giraffe in a pack, or ‘pride’ and once they separate them out from other Giraffes, they scratch them and bite at them until they become their dinner. 

Lions Deserve an 'L' on their Forehead

Well I am here to tell you something!  Giraffes can kick!  And there have been reported cases of Giraffes kicking lions to death.  So watch out lions!  You suck, and we are organizing and coming for you.  I have a group on Facebook called the ‘Giraffe Liberation Front’ and we are a united group of Giraffes and Giraffe supporters who are saying ENOUGH TO THIS NONSENSE!

Lions think they can just go around eating Giraffes with no consequences?  That we will not organize a kicking party because they have a shaggy mane?  Or perhaps we are supposed to piddle when we hear them roar? 

Lions deserve an ‘L’ on their forehead, and my blog is here to tell you that.  Giraffes are tall, and in fact we are the tallest animals on earth!  Do you understand what that means?  It means were are the closest to the almighty, and that means we hear everything he has to say first!  So you can trust me on this, Lions suck.  I am a complete supporter of placing an ‘L’ on the foreheads of lions everywhere, especially the stupid ones in the zoos.  King of the beast indeed!  Wait until they experience a Giraffe kick!  No lion survives a Giraffe kick.  Mark them with an ‘L’ I say, so we have a target to kick at.  We will open up and whoop them!  Wait and see!


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