Tag Archives: Anger?

What Ever You Do… Don’t Step in It!

You have thought about it.  You see it was an intriguing future.  The very idea of placing your foot into it to settle that deep satisfaction for yourself that it is real, that it’s very moment of perfection sitting there unobstructed needs to be disturbed.  Yes, you know what I mean.  It is that uncontrollable sensation and desire to step in things that your foot has no place being.Stepping

The classic rejoinder is “What ever you do… don’t step in it“, a friendly warning your mother offers.  You of course, do not heed such warnings.  You approach, perhaps with caution, and touch it with your toe.  Just preparing for what will follow.  You then scout the area and see if anyone is watching.  It is that moment of decision…

Sometimes you have to just commit and do it anyways...

Sometimes you have to just commit and do it anyways… Never heed the warnings…

‘Are you committed?’ You might ask yourself.  Is it time to step in it and see the results?  Maybe there is something hidden beneath that you will only uncover if you do?  The driving impulse to throw caution to the wind, and commit is strong.  ‘What is the worse thing that can happen?’ you ponder your thoughts for an answer…

You think that this boldness will drive you to the victory circle if you do commit.  You are building up your confidence, and you are going to commit.  The risk is only your shoe, and if you do it quickly, you can minimize the damage you tell yourself…

You scout the scene again.  Your mother is no where in sight.  People are looking away, and not a one is paying any attention to you inspecting it.  It is your time to shine.  To explore the unknown.  To take the plunge!  You bend your knee up and lift your foot off the ground.  You spin ever so slightly and quickly thrust downward.  It is a perfect hit!  Dead center!  Your clothes are splattered!  You did not expect the recoil!  It takes you by surprise!

The damage is extensive, but the glory is all yours!  Step where you want brother!  Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.  Just do it!  You are now a legend!  You have boldly done what you were told should not be done! Feel proud!

stepping2

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Are You a Stupid Scammer Spammer?

Are you a stupid scammer spammer?  Do you wake up each morning and say “Gee let me send out 1 billion stupid messages about random sex websites” in hope that someone will be interested in seeing you naked?  Guess what, a majority of us are not interested in you nakedness.  In fact we don’t want you ‘helpful advice’ on SEO search terms, blog ‘enhancements’ or other junk you stuff in our spam folder and post as comments on our blogs!

Are you a stupid spammer?

Are you a stupid spammer?

I just delete your crap anyway, and I edit your comments (removing your email and website) and they now read “Cool Blog Toodles” rather than that other stupid message you were offering about “easy credit card payments reports for spermicidal lubricant companies” of whatever you were selling…

Do you really think we are stupid enough to give you our bank account information because you sent us an unsolicited email saying we won a lottery? Or a random inheritance?  Are you really that stupid?

You must be.  I think you are no more intelligent than a turd if you ask me.  Yet day in and day out, millions of people have to empty their spam folders because you thought it necessary to send up messages about things we care nothing about, but it was important to you, or so we assume.

Also, all those great job opportunities you offer us for ‘handling your mail while you are out of town’ do you really think we would do that for you because you sent us a random email?  You must be the biggest idiot to think we would fall for you ripping someone else off, and then using our home addresses for the shipping of your stolen goods so we can take the fall for your crimes.  If you send me that stuff, I’m sending it back.

Also, what do all those other people in Nigeria have to say about you sending all those imaginary inheritances out ofscammer the country every week?  How many times does king Moojo need to die?  Or his uncle Watoobi?  Do you honestly think those sound like royal names?

Quit being an idiot!  Will you just give me an address so I can come find you?  I want to smack you with the idiot stick so you can stay busy and not pass along all these great revelations you have that you insist on sharing with all of our spam folders!  Really, if you took any of this crap personally, well too bad!  I got some friggin swamp land I want to sell you to bozo!

If you want to know more about how stupid scammer spammers are, go to: 419Hell.com  At this website you will learn the summary of all their stupid games, and really gain some insight into how stupid they are.  Don’t be a fool who falls for it.  Kick them with a good ol’ giraffe kick in the nuts instead!


My 2012 New Years Resolution to Offend

“I have decided that my New Year’s resolution in 2012 will be simply: To Offend.  I want to offend as many people as I can.  That is my new ambition.  I will call your favorite celebrity out on the carpet and promote their flaws, and anger you.  That is what I will look for.  I will portray the religious leader with bird droppings, and the sacred texts as toilet paper.  I will seek to find photos of everyone, including myself in the most embarrassing moments.  If I make you blush, I will be rewarded.” ~ Toodles G. Raffe

I look forward to 2012. You can bet your trembling nervous butt on it!

I first penned the above paragraph in December of 2010, with plans to post this on my blog around that time.  However, I did not.  I held back because I was not sure entirely that it would be understood, and so therefore in a rare momemt of restraint, I withheld my publishing of that post.

Now a whole new year has passed, and our planet is in no better shape or condition for it.  Giraffes are still locked up in zoos, and mysteriously murdered by caring ‘zoo keepers’.  Lions roam free to murder giraffes in Africa, and no one seems to give a rip.  Well, I do!  I am a giraffe, and this offends me!

Therefore, I have decided that in 2012 I will do more than just offend.  I will really offend.  My plan is to expand my blog to a new format, and a new

Do you hear hoofsteps?

design.  I will probably transfer over some of these old blog posts that have become such favorites.  However, I will be taking on new projects as well in 2012.  I will not just be bringing you interesting things to read about, but I also plan to publish comprehensive works on the Giraffopia Philosophy.

So in 2012, you might see early in the year a shift in the force.  A change in my blog, and a tremble in the earth.  Don’t worry, it is just me freeing a thousand more giraffes from the local zoo, and upsetting the status quo.  Ride the wave if you like it, and spread the word.

 


Exploration into Controversy

Controversial art is cool!

As a Giraffe on the edge, I often find myself engaged in controversial issues.  I have decided that I will no longer hold myself back, but will explore with malice aforethought all controversy that crosses my path.  I will probably offend some people, and you might even think I am nuts.  Some of you will hate me.  That’s fine with me.  I am looking to create that reaction in you, to bring out your inner giraffe. 

You can find out about my controversial and radical group called the ‘Giraffe

Did you buy this controversial issue? I sure would have!

 Liberation Front’ on my ‘About’ page on this blog.  Feel free to indulge yourself.  I for one, can no longer restrain myself in the headwind of full resistance to controversy.  What is wrong with it?  I think if it makes you angry, you need to lighten up.   What else is there in this world but one big controversial hodge-podge of puke we call ‘society’? 

I mean I love things that get everyone all buzzing.  I once held a celebration with my friend Gerry Giraffe over the GLF’s achievement of reaching 666 members!  We called it ‘Devil’s Night Out’ and had a lot of people wanting to go out with us to do devilish things.  Then, we got some one going off one us and preaching about god, etc.  They missed the whole point.  That person abandoned our group, citing religious convictions.  All it did was create more controversy, and we held our party and got rebeliously drunk over it.

So as a Giraffe that is living life like there is no tomorrow, I hope you will enjoy some of the controversial photos I have chosen to include in this post.  Take a moment to comment if you wish. 

To me this is just fashion! Why all the fuss?


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