Tag Archives: Sports

Is Being Fat the New Extreme Sport for 2013?

Fat: The new extreme sport!

No one ever looks at a fat person and says ‘How athletic!’ No, they ridicule and laugh at fat people or they just stay away from them in general.  However, I as a Giraffe see it differently.

Fat people are athletes.  In fact, fat is the new extreme sport!  Imagine the strength it takes in the legs to carry around all that weight?  It is amazing!

I think we should enter a new category at the olympics, and call it the ‘extreme fat sport’.  They just need to show up and be there, and get measured.

Then they are asked to walk across a gym.  That is the contest.  Why make fat into something to avoid?  Call them athletes!  Give them a medal!

Watch some of these contestents in this video, and you tell me.  Are they not amazing?

Advertisements

Big Fish Are the Way to Go

If you are going to fish, then just go at it.  Get a really big fish.  Don’t mess with those little ones.  Go extreme fishing, and yank one out!  Get all hot and sweaty and whip out your fish!  Battling with a fish can be fun.  Watch this:

 


Are You a Master Baiter?

Do you have the skills to become a Master Baiter?

You know fishing is a skill that even Giraffes learn. Why you might ask?  Because we engage in tossing salmon as a sporting activity, and thus fishing is a subject of interest to us.

That being said, let’s examine a few things.  Are you a master baiter?  Have you learned to put a worm on a hook?  I believe even kids at a young age should learn to play with their worms, and put them the right way for success on the hook.  You know what I mean?  They should be taught to become master baiters at a young age, and really get a grip on things.

Fishing is a game of survival and can provide a great source of food.  So learning to conquer master baiting is important to planting the seed of the future.  It is a skill few master. 

Let’s take the hook.  It is a barbie hook?  or a one of those crooky hooks?  It does make a

Learning how to hold your worm is key to becoming a Master Baiter!

 difference on how you grip the worm.  You will want to hold is just so with a barbie, so the worm will slide right in and hang on. 

Crooky hooks can make the worm slide out prematurely.

With a crooky, you may want to apply some corn to prop it up, or it might slide out.

So becoming a master baiter is a skill that everyone should explore, and develop.  It will bring you lots of satisfaction, and enjoyment too.  Here is an important tip though: Be sure to wash your hands when you are done with your master baiting lessons, as they can get all smelly and sticky. 

Another fun thing to try is to practice master baiting in a swimming pool.  It is more challenging in water than you think, as you will not only have to hold your worm, but keep yourself up.  It will help you think like a fish too, and man is it fun! 

Well, I hope you have a successful career in master baiting!

Practicing Master Baiting in the swimming pool can give you hours of enjoyment! It all comes down to how long you can keep it up.


Giraffes at the Bull Fights

You know that people do not often invite Giraffes to the bull fights in Spain.  Do you know why?  Because we as Giraffes are tremendous in the ring.  We can whoop a bull in seconds. 

It does not draw a crowd after the first time, because we stomp them so fast.  Thus, you never hear of it.  It becomes a ‘non-event’ in the annals of history.  So just keep that in mind.

We Giraffes whoop ass at bull fights...


Twister in the Buff

One of the all American games is the game of ‘Twister’.  A simple game, which consists of a large plastic with color dots and a spinning dial with matching colors.  It really is the ulitimate party game, which requires group involvement. 

Twister in the buff!

Participants position themselves near the dotted playing field, and one player spins the dial and tells them which foot or hand to place on which colored dot.  Of course it starts out easy, and then gets crazy, as you are not supposed to move your respective foot or hand again until the spinner calls a new color for it. 

The results: everybody gets twisted!  One could say it brings people

Twister is a competitive game, and the competition is fierce!

 together.  A new twist on this game, as we move into the liberated new decade is to play this game in the buff.  That is right, bare-butt naked!  Twister in the buff baby! 

 This of course brings on new challenges, as one has to overcome the obstacle of modesty, and shyness in addition to playing the physical portion of the game. 

Then there is the increase in sweatyness, especially if it is a hot day.  Then the Twister board gets slippery in addition to the complexity of Twister in the buff.  I like Twister in the buff, and recommend it as an ice-breaker whenever I have a new group of people visiting me at my home. 

If they comply, then I ask them to join the Giraffe Liberation Front, which is my radical giraffe group on Facebook.  So,

Body paint is a fun addition to Twister in the buff.

 as one can imagine, some people find this to be disagreeable, and leave screaming and shouting, but hey, that is their choice. 

Another fund way to play Twister in the buff is the include the use of body paint!  Wow, is that fun!  It can be both colorful, and slippery!  What a mess, but all in all, a memorable experience to be sure!

I think Twister in the buff should become an Olympic sport!  Why not?  I know I would eagerly watch the international competition.  Twister in the buff on the international stage!  Think about it!  It could work!

Try to imagine the nude twister team for each country walking into the opening ceremonies at the Olympic games!  They could all just wear body paint that reflects the color of the their countries flag!  It would be soooo coool!

Nothing like a massive game of Twister in the buff to get the summer going! Try it!


Train Mooning

I thought I would talk to everybody about a new past-time that is sweeping the country called ‘Train Mooning’.  This where you gather with a whole bunch of your friends, and after a few drinks, you venture out as a group to a nearby railroad.  Together as a group, you time a quick pants drop and ‘moon’  a passing train. 

Train mooning can be a great way to say 'Welcome to our City!'

It works best when you target passenger trains, as this gives you the largest audience.  For you that are eager to get started, and only have freight trains near you, well start with that and have some fun!  I recommend positioning yourself at an angle to the tracks so the train engineer has a longgggg view when you moon him, as he is likely to be the only one who sees the spectacle on a freight train.

For best results, however, choose a passenger train.  If you live close to large cities like New York and Chicago, this is easy to do.  In fact, you can moon several trains in a given afternoon, as these passenger trains are more frequent as you approach larger cities. 

Another fun thing to do when you moon a train is to have a message painted on your buttocks.  I know this can be hard to do, so you will need to be a group that is in cooperation and knows how to spell.  It is best to do your butt paint writing before everyone gets too drunk.  Or, if you are already too drunk as you read this, then just grab a bunch of different colors and paint each cheek a different color like a bunch of circles on an old ‘Twister’ game.  This will give it a little

Nothing is more thrilling than to see a group 'Moon' when you roll into a new railroad station!

 dazzle!

Anyway, train mooning can be a lot of fun.  It is important to practice safety when train mooning, as you do not want to get run over by a train.  As a note, it is usually best to be farther away anyhow, so that the bulk of the passengers looking out the window can see you. It also gives you a better chance to run away or jump in a car and drive off if one of the train conductors calls the police.


I think women should be allowed to box

Isn't women boxing cool?

I think women who box are cool!  I mean, women should be allowed to participate in all sports, and so should Giraffes!  We giraffes should be allowed in the Olympics!  Imagine what we could do in the World Cup with our kicking skills?  But back to women who box, they are the brave ones.  Fighting not only other women, but the system who tries to prevent them.  So what if boxing produces ugly women!  Let them at it I say!  Let the giraffes play too!

That is my humble opinion, and I welcome yours.


%d bloggers like this: