Tag Archives: Women

Is Michelle Obama, the First Lady, Frumpy? You Bet! Sorry Fat Reporters…

 

The first lady is frumpy. See all the frumpyness?

I humbly write this post in an effort to relay an honest observation to you my readers.  I was watching a newscast the other day with this overweight google eyed reporter that was drooling over Michelle Obama as a ‘fashion queen’. 

The videos they showed of the first lady walking from airforce one, and other places wearing whatever she was wearing did not impress me apparently as much Ms Google-eyed Chuncky Butt newscaster. 

Then this skinny and relatively odd looking reporter with big ears joined google-eyed chunky butt in the newscast, confirming her opinion of the fashion god-like qualities of Michelle Obama.  Big ears and google-eyed chuncky butt went on and on about details, and I just turned off the sound and watched the videos and made my own theory.

My theory is in two parts really. One, to a big eared and google-eyed chuncky butt reporter class, even a burlap bag and condom stretched over your head would make you a fashion queen, because it is an upgrade for them.  Two, Michelle Obama, the First Lady, is Frumpy.  There I said it.  She is

Frumpy is as frumpy does...

Frumpy.  I will even capitalize it: MICHELLE OBAMA THE FIRST LADY IS FRUMPY!

I do not need fat and big eared reporters who were drama class rejects because they were ugly and lacked any talent to tell me what I see.  I see Michelle Obama as wearing boring clothing, and looking frumpy.  I guess it takes someone that rolled out of a trailer park after a night of drunken puking and then driving to work with their bitg fat butt, and sitting it in a chair to offer the opinion other wise. 

I suppose anything looks fashionable and classy if you have been called big ears and fat butt your whole life.  Hey, if you make a nice-nice report, you might get invited to the White House, right?

That is why it takes a Giraffe like me to say it like it is.  Michelle Obama, the First Lady is Frumpy.  Period.  Let these pictures tell the story.  Throughout the above, you see a common sample of First Lady Frumpy. 

See the ordinary, gunny-sack looking outfits that all show wrinkles?  That is FIRST LADY FRUMPY!

Now examine two other montages of famous first ladies: Jackie Kennedy and Lady Diana.  Both of these ladies were the comparison by bug eyed fat butt and big ears in their newscast.  What do you think? 

Jackie Onasis and Lady Diana were anything but Frumpy. See what I mean? No frumpiness, just pure class.

 
 
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Giraffe Eroticism

Let’s talk about Giraffe eroticism for a moment.  People are scared to talk about Giraffe eroticism publically, but let’s face it.  Women dig Giraffes.  They like our tongues, and franky they are turned on by our reticulation and our horns.  It is really okay to admit. 

We Giraffes know it, and are okay with it.  It does not mean that we

Giraffe Eroticism... Ladies, just relax and calm down!

 will venture into cross species relations, but it does mean that we do not mind the attention. 

Grovel if you must, but please stop trying to deny it.  You dig us.  That is a fact.  That being said, here is a selection of some of my favorite moments sent to me from my fellow Giraffes that we have secretly taken of you… 

So let your inhibitions run wild and don’t hold back anymore, okay?  We know our reticulation patterns turn you on.  Quit trying to hide it!  Just let it loose, and get some neck!  No need to be nervous.  Just relax.


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