We Giraffes have adopted a new sport called ‘Salmon Tossing’. It is where we take either a live or dead salmon, and
Salmon tossing as a sport is becoming popular...
give it a fling. Some people around the world have begun to take a lead from our new sport, and make it a vital recreational experience in their community.
We in the Giraffe Liberation Front have combined the sport with a form of skeet shooting, where we toss a salmon, and fire a live weapon at it to blow if from the sky. You can see this dipicted here in the photos. If you would like to know more about how to be a successful salmon tosser, read on. For one, gripping the salmon is the important skill to master, as this allows you to gain an effective release on the toss.
There is a balance between gripping too tightly and too lightly that must be mastered. Some humans prefer to wear gloves, and place a thumb in the gill of the salmon for that added stability. In some salmon tossing competitions, this is an illegal move, so it is better to become an expert at the body grip and toss, than the gill toss. Then there is the swing of the arms, and the release.
The Giraffe Liberation Front sometimes combines salmon tossing with skeet shooting.
Salmon tossing is fun for all ages!
Swinging the arms is akin to rocking a baby, and it advised that you do not think too much about the release point. Releasing the salmon after the swing is much like a golf swing, you don’t think, you just let it go. Preferrably you let it go on a high arch, for maximum distance. We Giraffes usually use the grab the tail in our teeth and fling with the neck toss, which is very difficult, but we find it sporty.
When the salmon is airborn, it is anyone’s guess where it can land. I once threw a salmon at a police officer and was given 12 months probation, which has just expired, so now I can take up the sport again. I will not discuss the incident with the police officer beyond saying it was a complete misunderstanding, and I thought he wanted to participate in the game, and it was a friendly gesture on my part.
An unfortunate misunderstanding, although a well tossed salmon I might add. In competition, it would have scored me high points. Which brings me to the scoring aspect of this discussion on salmon tossing. Scoring among Giraffes is based on whether you hit your opponent, and where. In the face scores the highest points, and if the opponent was in motion, even higher points are awarded. If you knock the player down, it is bonus points. (The police officer was in full stride when I got that head shot, and it knocked him off his feet. Gerry Giraffe, my Facebook friend can testify it was a hell of a shot.)
Salmon tossing can be rough on property, but is a lot of fun and a great community event.
Lot’s of drinking is often involved in salmon tossing competitions, and so one can see how this can get out of hand. Anyway, that is a summary of how salmon tossing works. I recommend practicing with frozen salmon at stationary targets, before using fresh floppy ones. Practive safely in salmon tossing as well! Wear protective eyewear or you can get a nasty case of ‘fish-eye’.
It should be noted here that sometimes salmon tossing has damaged surrounding property, and there are incidents where buildings have been damaged. Usually these are from high velocity thrown salmon, and in professional competitons, so even the expert salmon tossers can make a bad throw. This is just a cautionary note about hosting such an event in a downtown area, and it is a good idea to warn local business owners of potential damage that can occur.
All in all, salmon tossing is fun, exciting and growing popular. Rumor has it is may even be added to the Olympics in the future. We can only hope! Good luck, and happy salmon tossing!
A good salmon toss is all in the release point.
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